I exist to repent

Through the darkness of the night

The moment of weakness strikes

befriending the wolves of evil

And embraced by the sheer desire to disobey

My soul runs to the path of sinning

Like an hourglass, it seeks fulfillment in the emptiness

Of its other half

It struggles to keep sanity

The mind tick ticks in thinking

Wondering how it all happened

Where did it go wrong?

I was sure this was the last time

I did promise before

The angel witnessing my come back

And now my voice is sealed

My sins are great

So great it is rotten

Wondering how he, she and they

Could still call me a friend

Can they not smell my sins

See the worry on my face

My hand shakes

My soul breaks

My spirit withers away

And, my words lack worth

As time and again

I utter fake promises

To the One whom my soul

Is in His hands

Sinning suffocates me as

I contemplate how did I become so weak?

How long before His wrath befalls me

I spark and shine in the light

But only Allah knows

The darkness that resides in my heart

I am dwelling in these sins

Their memories tremble my being

People praise my strength

But little do they know my eyes long for some rest

My tears yearn for a remedy

I have searched all within for peace

Only to fail

It is times like these

I realize my hope in

You outweighs all my fears

I turn to You in humility

For if you turn me away

Which door shall I knock?

Your Pardon is greater than my sins

I seek Your forgiveness for my soul found

The courage to remember that

I exist to repent…

____________

By Samra Said & Halima Ahmed

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About Samra

Poet and fundraiser for humanitarian causes. Lives in London
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